Tag Archives: Wedding ceremony participants

Un-planning wedding exercise

7 Feb
Project development stages

Image via Wikipedia

Project management and wedding planning are interchangeable terms. Both utilize timelines with important milestones, research, required materials, contact names and roles, and so much more (thrilling diagram pictured). Sounds like an exciting way to plan what is suppose to be a fun and relaxing day, right? Not so much.

Let’s use project management to un-plan your wedding. A basic tool used in PM is the Five W’s: what, why, who, where and when. Grab pen, paper and your PMP (a.k.a. pre-marital partner, I can’t say fiancée…it’s just too…foreign) and ask yourself the below questions from a wedding rebel standpoint.

Why are you getting married?

Seems like a silly question, but it is important to ask. Your answer should only include thoughts on commitment, love, union, vows, etc… If you say you’re excited to wear a wedding dress or host an open bar for 200 people you are headed for divorce court my friend.

Why do you want to have a rebel wedding?

In other words, are you committed to having an intimate destination wedding or elopement? It is inevitable folks will give you some flack, so are you ready to hold your rebel ground?

What wedding plans are you unwilling to alter?

Again, this should not include your unwillingness to cut one of your fifteen bridesmaids. Un-planning your wedding means being committed to an intimate and meaningful event. You must be unwilling to host a huge, catered, circus production simply because you feel it is expected of you.

Alright, I got you started. Ask yourselves more Why and What questions, in addition to the When, Where and Who questions. Thinking through these queries will help you zone in on what is important and keep your distance from the ever-stalking wedding beasts. One bite and hello Bridezilla…or Groomenstein.

Since we are on the subject on beatings…

5 Feb
A man and a woman mud wrestling at "Mud F...

Image via Wikipedia

What happens when you push someone with force and malice? The other person will either fall back or push back. Unless you are knee deep in a mud-wrestling contest, both results suck. Planning a wedding is a series of head locks and throw downs.

A groom may be forcing the concept on eloping on his bride. The MOTB (Mom of the Bridezilla) may be shoving unwanted wedding traditions at the couple. Avoid bumps and bruises by proactively preventing the brawls.

It takes a great deal of self-control and unparallel communication skills to accomplish this task. Two qualities I did not possess as a bride. My fear of offending others caused my lips to seal in many insistences. In other situations, I was so emotionally disconnected from the event that I overlooked the emotional attachment our loved ones had to the day.

Perfect example…

I told my stepmom I could care less who was in the room when I put on my wedding dress at the church because I truly didn’t care. To me it was the moment I was shedding my true identity and donning a mask for the day. I found out a few weeks later, in a bold phone call, she was sincerely upset about me dismissing a mother-daughter moment she had envisioned. I had no idea. We retreated then pushed while exhibiting no communication skills. I wasn’t explaining my lack of interest and she failed to communicate hers.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a couple days. I’ll be back to give you simple steps on how to avoid the wedding wrestling matches.

Plan with purpose

31 Jan
Bridesmaids

Image via Wikipedia

Martha Beck from Oprah.com recently wrote, “Live by design, not by accident.”

 Let’s translate that quote into wedding rebellion speak…”Plan with purpose, not by social standards.”

Like Michael J. Fox morphing into teen wolf, the commercial wedding industry will transform you into something unrecognizable. You may begin to think welcome bags, custom invitations and a five-tiered wedding cake are the standards to meet. These thoughts belong to the accidental bridezilla. Despite your initial claim to be a cool, calm and collected bride, you have fallen victim to the bridal beast. It takes you days to decide on linens. Weeks go by before you select your seven bridesmaid’s dresses. Months are spent grueling over decorations.

Which one of these words doesn’t belong?

Tulle

Lilies

Kitty heals

Satin

Union

Electric Slide

Open Bar

Rehearsal Dinner

Carriage Ride

Your pending union is a reflection of your love and commitment to the relationship. Jager Bombs and group dances do not represent your nuptials in any way. Those other words just cloud your judgment and create a thick fog in your overpriced venue.

Keep your wedding clearly defined. See the day for what is truly is…a marriage. Yes, there are family, friends and a celebration, but those are secondary details that should never outshine the nuptials.

How are you going to plan with purpose?