Tag Archives: Relationships

Un-planning wedding exercise

7 Feb
Project development stages

Image via Wikipedia

Project management and wedding planning are interchangeable terms. Both utilize timelines with important milestones, research, required materials, contact names and roles, and so much more (thrilling diagram pictured). Sounds like an exciting way to plan what is suppose to be a fun and relaxing day, right? Not so much.

Let’s use project management to un-plan your wedding. A basic tool used in PM is the Five W’s: what, why, who, where and when. Grab pen, paper and your PMP (a.k.a. pre-marital partner, I can’t say fiancée…it’s just too…foreign) and ask yourself the below questions from a wedding rebel standpoint.

Why are you getting married?

Seems like a silly question, but it is important to ask. Your answer should only include thoughts on commitment, love, union, vows, etc… If you say you’re excited to wear a wedding dress or host an open bar for 200 people you are headed for divorce court my friend.

Why do you want to have a rebel wedding?

In other words, are you committed to having an intimate destination wedding or elopement? It is inevitable folks will give you some flack, so are you ready to hold your rebel ground?

What wedding plans are you unwilling to alter?

Again, this should not include your unwillingness to cut one of your fifteen bridesmaids. Un-planning your wedding means being committed to an intimate and meaningful event. You must be unwilling to host a huge, catered, circus production simply because you feel it is expected of you.

Alright, I got you started. Ask yourselves more Why and What questions, in addition to the When, Where and Who questions. Thinking through these queries will help you zone in on what is important and keep your distance from the ever-stalking wedding beasts. One bite and hello Bridezilla…or Groomenstein.


Since we are on the subject on beatings…

5 Feb
A man and a woman mud wrestling at "Mud F...

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What happens when you push someone with force and malice? The other person will either fall back or push back. Unless you are knee deep in a mud-wrestling contest, both results suck. Planning a wedding is a series of head locks and throw downs.

A groom may be forcing the concept on eloping on his bride. The MOTB (Mom of the Bridezilla) may be shoving unwanted wedding traditions at the couple. Avoid bumps and bruises by proactively preventing the brawls.

It takes a great deal of self-control and unparallel communication skills to accomplish this task. Two qualities I did not possess as a bride. My fear of offending others caused my lips to seal in many insistences. In other situations, I was so emotionally disconnected from the event that I overlooked the emotional attachment our loved ones had to the day.

Perfect example…

I told my stepmom I could care less who was in the room when I put on my wedding dress at the church because I truly didn’t care. To me it was the moment I was shedding my true identity and donning a mask for the day. I found out a few weeks later, in a bold phone call, she was sincerely upset about me dismissing a mother-daughter moment she had envisioned. I had no idea. We retreated then pushed while exhibiting no communication skills. I wasn’t explaining my lack of interest and she failed to communicate hers.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a couple days. I’ll be back to give you simple steps on how to avoid the wedding wrestling matches.

Sex and the City Wedding Rebels

19 Jan
Teaser poster for 2008 film, Sex and the City:...

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 “I let the wedding get bigger than Big.”

Sex and the City (2008)

          Sex and the City (the movie) pleased most fans of the television show. But it flipp’in thrilled me! Writers showcased the accidental bridezilla. SJP’s character, Carrie, truly did let her wedding get bigger than Big (aka,her hubby). A boat load of money, choice of designer dresses, NYC as a wedding backdrop only took away from their nuptials. In the end, she smashes her million dollar bouquet into the face of the man who left her at the altar.

Avoid the drama and elope! Unfortunately, the idea of elopement can cause a variety of negative responses that may include: crying, screaming, kicking, biting, shunning, or begging. I find it ironic that couples announcing their plans to have a large, expensive, commercial wedding wouldn’t trigger those type of responses. Why would those who truly love you encourage you to spend ungodly amounts of time and funds on an event that will overshadow and undermine your union? Unfortunately, the most logical answer is simple…they are selfish.

Today’s nuptials are impractical. Rebel weddings (a.k.a. eloping) are sincere, meaningful and purposeful occasions. There are many ways to elope as the concept has evolved throughout the decades. It no longer just includes a trip to the courthouse. Venues can range from your backyard to the beach. Escape the crazy. Elope.