Tag Archives: Bridezilla

Since we are on the subject on beatings…

5 Feb
A man and a woman mud wrestling at "Mud F...

Image via Wikipedia

What happens when you push someone with force and malice? The other person will either fall back or push back. Unless you are knee deep in a mud-wrestling contest, both results suck. Planning a wedding is a series of head locks and throw downs.

A groom may be forcing the concept on eloping on his bride. The MOTB (Mom of the Bridezilla) may be shoving unwanted wedding traditions at the couple. Avoid bumps and bruises by proactively preventing the brawls.

It takes a great deal of self-control and unparallel communication skills to accomplish this task. Two qualities I did not possess as a bride. My fear of offending others caused my lips to seal in many insistences. In other situations, I was so emotionally disconnected from the event that I overlooked the emotional attachment our loved ones had to the day.

Perfect example…

I told my stepmom I could care less who was in the room when I put on my wedding dress at the church because I truly didn’t care. To me it was the moment I was shedding my true identity and donning a mask for the day. I found out a few weeks later, in a bold phone call, she was sincerely upset about me dismissing a mother-daughter moment she had envisioned. I had no idea. We retreated then pushed while exhibiting no communication skills. I wasn’t explaining my lack of interest and she failed to communicate hers.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a couple days. I’ll be back to give you simple steps on how to avoid the wedding wrestling matches.

Plan with purpose

31 Jan
Bridesmaids

Image via Wikipedia

Martha Beck from Oprah.com recently wrote, “Live by design, not by accident.”

 Let’s translate that quote into wedding rebellion speak…”Plan with purpose, not by social standards.”

Like Michael J. Fox morphing into teen wolf, the commercial wedding industry will transform you into something unrecognizable. You may begin to think welcome bags, custom invitations and a five-tiered wedding cake are the standards to meet. These thoughts belong to the accidental bridezilla. Despite your initial claim to be a cool, calm and collected bride, you have fallen victim to the bridal beast. It takes you days to decide on linens. Weeks go by before you select your seven bridesmaid’s dresses. Months are spent grueling over decorations.

Which one of these words doesn’t belong?

Tulle

Lilies

Kitty heals

Satin

Union

Electric Slide

Open Bar

Rehearsal Dinner

Carriage Ride

Your pending union is a reflection of your love and commitment to the relationship. Jager Bombs and group dances do not represent your nuptials in any way. Those other words just cloud your judgment and create a thick fog in your overpriced venue.

Keep your wedding clearly defined. See the day for what is truly is…a marriage. Yes, there are family, friends and a celebration, but those are secondary details that should never outshine the nuptials.

How are you going to plan with purpose?

A message to the parents of Bridezilla

15 Jan

Technically, I am not a mother. Although I do think dedicated pet parents, like me, fall into a similar role. I do understand the relentless draw to love, protect and embed yourself in a little ones life. Mothers stumbling across this blog will surely send me hate email. Bring it on M.O.T.B. (Mother of the Bridezilla), because I truly believe you are bat crazy if you think your child’s wedding day has anything to do with you.

Yes, you raised and supported your child into adulthood. Yes, you deserve gratitude and love for your dedication. Even though your child didn’t ask to be born, you made a decision (or blissful mistake) to bring a child into this crazy place and vowed to guide them through life.

You were able to witness graduations, broken hearts, career moves and more. You may even have played a large role in those special moments.

There is one moment that does not belong to you. There is no “mom” in “marriage.” Your son or daughter giving their commitment to each other has nothing to do with their mommy or daddy. As a parent, you gave them the tools to be mature, responsible adults that would select a worthy partner, but that is where your journey ends. Or were you planning on tucking the newlyweds in their marriage bed with a cup of hot coco too?

In my many interviews with brides and their families, it is my opinion that much deeper issues drive the obsessive parental wedding behavior. You have to ask yourself what is driving your emotions. Are you sincerely pissed about your ex-husband sitting in a pew closer to the altar than you, or are your feelings stemming from a deeper issue?  Does your anger over the hated wedding venue originate from something more sincere than the physical location? 

A teenager moving away to college leaves parents coping with the dreaded empty nest syndrome. Getting hitched means they don’t even need your nest anymore, and that can be a difficult pill to swallow. They are going to build their own nest. It is the cycle of life. In no way does it mean they no longer love or respect you, it just means they are continuing to expand out on the world. You should be proud, and more importantly you should be supportive. Well, unless your future daughter in law resembles Lindsay Lohan. That’s a different post entirely.