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Un-planning wedding exercise

7 Feb
Project development stages

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Project management and wedding planning are interchangeable terms. Both utilize timelines with important milestones, research, required materials, contact names and roles, and so much more (thrilling diagram pictured). Sounds like an exciting way to plan what is suppose to be a fun and relaxing day, right? Not so much.

Let’s use project management to un-plan your wedding. A basic tool used in PM is the Five W’s: what, why, who, where and when. Grab pen, paper and your PMP (a.k.a. pre-marital partner, I can’t say fiancée…it’s just too…foreign) and ask yourself the below questions from a wedding rebel standpoint.

Why are you getting married?

Seems like a silly question, but it is important to ask. Your answer should only include thoughts on commitment, love, union, vows, etc… If you say you’re excited to wear a wedding dress or host an open bar for 200 people you are headed for divorce court my friend.

Why do you want to have a rebel wedding?

In other words, are you committed to having an intimate destination wedding or elopement? It is inevitable folks will give you some flack, so are you ready to hold your rebel ground?

What wedding plans are you unwilling to alter?

Again, this should not include your unwillingness to cut one of your fifteen bridesmaids. Un-planning your wedding means being committed to an intimate and meaningful event. You must be unwilling to host a huge, catered, circus production simply because you feel it is expected of you.

Alright, I got you started. Ask yourselves more Why and What questions, in addition to the When, Where and Who questions. Thinking through these queries will help you zone in on what is important and keep your distance from the ever-stalking wedding beasts. One bite and hello Bridezilla…or Groomenstein.

Plan with purpose

31 Jan
Bridesmaids

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Martha Beck from Oprah.com recently wrote, “Live by design, not by accident.”

 Let’s translate that quote into wedding rebellion speak…”Plan with purpose, not by social standards.”

Like Michael J. Fox morphing into teen wolf, the commercial wedding industry will transform you into something unrecognizable. You may begin to think welcome bags, custom invitations and a five-tiered wedding cake are the standards to meet. These thoughts belong to the accidental bridezilla. Despite your initial claim to be a cool, calm and collected bride, you have fallen victim to the bridal beast. It takes you days to decide on linens. Weeks go by before you select your seven bridesmaid’s dresses. Months are spent grueling over decorations.

Which one of these words doesn’t belong?

Tulle

Lilies

Kitty heals

Satin

Union

Electric Slide

Open Bar

Rehearsal Dinner

Carriage Ride

Your pending union is a reflection of your love and commitment to the relationship. Jager Bombs and group dances do not represent your nuptials in any way. Those other words just cloud your judgment and create a thick fog in your overpriced venue.

Keep your wedding clearly defined. See the day for what is truly is…a marriage. Yes, there are family, friends and a celebration, but those are secondary details that should never outshine the nuptials.

How are you going to plan with purpose?

Sex and the City Wedding Rebels

19 Jan
Teaser poster for 2008 film, Sex and the City:...

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 “I let the wedding get bigger than Big.”

Sex and the City (2008)

          Sex and the City (the movie) pleased most fans of the television show. But it flipp’in thrilled me! Writers showcased the accidental bridezilla. SJP’s character, Carrie, truly did let her wedding get bigger than Big (aka,her hubby). A boat load of money, choice of designer dresses, NYC as a wedding backdrop only took away from their nuptials. In the end, she smashes her million dollar bouquet into the face of the man who left her at the altar.

Avoid the drama and elope! Unfortunately, the idea of elopement can cause a variety of negative responses that may include: crying, screaming, kicking, biting, shunning, or begging. I find it ironic that couples announcing their plans to have a large, expensive, commercial wedding wouldn’t trigger those type of responses. Why would those who truly love you encourage you to spend ungodly amounts of time and funds on an event that will overshadow and undermine your union? Unfortunately, the most logical answer is simple…they are selfish.

Today’s nuptials are impractical. Rebel weddings (a.k.a. eloping) are sincere, meaningful and purposeful occasions. There are many ways to elope as the concept has evolved throughout the decades. It no longer just includes a trip to the courthouse. Venues can range from your backyard to the beach. Escape the crazy. Elope.

Poop and Un-planning a Wedding

15 Nov

Un-planning your wedding is removing temptations that are being dangled in front of your face by the media, bridal industry and loved ones so you don’t become a bridezilla.   Un-planning your wedding means removing the handmade wedding programs and the ordering of custom M&M’s from your to do list.

We occasionally help out a local rescue group by acting as foster parents to  orphaned beagles.  One of these temporary guests, Izzy, was a horribly nervous and neglected beagle.  She had a disgusting behavior of eating her poop while it was still steaming.  Gross.  She lovingly passed this trait onto my non-poop eating dogs.  Unless my husband and I want to smell fecal matter on their breath as we cuddle up for the night, we have to use a pooper scooper to remove the nasty snack before Foster or Gabbie start munching.  We have to remove the temptation because no amount of reprimanding detours them.  It is not easy to wake up at 6:00am and follow two dogs around the yard waiting for them to pop a squat when I could be in my warm bed, but making the sacrifice is worth it. 

It may be challenging, but pick up your virtual poop scooper and remove the wedding temptations.  Resist throwing that overpriced bridal magazine in your cart while going through the checkout line or clicking endless inspiration photos on a wedding website to kill your lunch hour.  Over time these endless pictures and articles will leave a nasty taste in your mouth and before you know it you will be following the disturbing trends of others. 

Your wedding is about a union and commitment to each other.  Elaborate flower arrangements and expensive table linens may be tempting, but it will have no positive impact on your marriage.  It is just a nasty habit picked up by brides throughout the decades.

Denial

31 Oct

The first step in becoming a Wedding Rebel is shedding your denial and accepting the fact that you have been trained to be a wedding zombie from the moment you held your first bridal Barbie™.  Or maybe it was the first time you purchased that thick bridal magazine.  Perhaps, even the first five hours you spent on a wedding website.  Like the zombies in the horror films, evil lurks around every corner.  Don’t let the pretty magazine model in the Vera Wang dress fool you.  You do not have to spend your entire life savings on silk and tulle to have an amazing marriage celebration.

 Perhaps one of the first documented wedding rebels, Dorothy Dix, illustrates this fact perfectly in her 1926 book, Her Book; Every Day Help for Every Day People.  She boldly stated, “…by the time she is ten years old, the average girl has begun planning her wedding and deciding whether she will have a big church affair with ushers, flower girls and ring bearers and maids and matron of honor and bridesmaids and a white satin dress and a real lace veil, and all the other flub-dubs, or whether she will be married at home under floral canopy, with an admiring audience fenced off from her by white ribbons.  Only to realize in this ten minute splurge she is ready to ruthlessly ruin her family and half kill herself.  If she doesn’t get it, she goes through life feeling that she has missed her big moment.”  Miss Dorothy predicted the birth of stressed, angry brides (aka, bridezillas) nearly ninety years ago!  Pay heed to her tale as most engaged couples never recover from their denial.  They deny reality and choose to remain ignorant.  They see nothing wrong with decorating their reception hall to copy Hillary Duff’s wedding.  They don’t even blink an eye when asked to spend thousands of dollars on a cake, invitations or wilting flowers.